A new baby and a separation, at the same time, is one of the loneliest places a person can be. I've sat with mothers still in the haze of the first months, and with fathers frightened of a number they can't see the logic of. So let me walk you through how a Polish court actually works out what a baby costs, because the answer is more grounded, and more reassuring, than the figures people throw around.
In a 2026 case, a mother asked for 1,200 złoty a month for a five-month-old. The father accepted 600; an interim order had set 750. The court landed on 850. What guided it tells you almost everything about how these cases are really decided.
Courts count what a baby really needs, not the longest possible list
The most important thing to understand is that a court does not simply add up an ambitious shopping list. It looks at real, demonstrable needs.
In this case, the mother was breastfeeding, and she said so honestly. That single fact removed the largest inflated item from the claim: formula, which can run to several hundred złoty a month. With that gone, the genuine costs came down to nappies, hygiene, clothing, a few toys, and ordinary healthcare.
I want to be candid about the lesson here, because it protects you: over-stating a baby's costs backfires. Padding the list, formula for a breastfed baby, "healthcare" for a healthy infant, doesn't leave you a comfortable margin. It makes a court distrust your whole calculation. A modest, honest figure is far more persuasive than an ambitious one.
The one-off "kit" doesn't belong in the monthly figure
Here's a distinction that trips many people up. The mother had spent around 3,600 złoty on the pram, changing units, and a stroller, and tried to spread that across the months, adding ~300 złoty to the monthly cost.
The court said no. A baby's kit is a one-off, not a running cost, especially as the father had already handed over 5,000 złoty specifically for it. One-time purchases (pram, cot, car seat) are claimed separately or settled as already paid, they aren't quietly amortised into the monthly support rate.
"800+" and maternity benefit don't raise support, but the real picture matters
This is subtle, and worth getting right.
Polish law is clear that the "800+" child benefit and maternity allowance do not increase the support obligation, the father can't be made to pay more because the mother receives them, and they aren't deducted from his duty either. But a court still looks at the whole reality of each parent's situation: here, the mother was living with, and supported by, her own parents, alongside a maternity benefit. That backdrop shapes how much the father realistically needs to add, without the benefit itself "counting against" the child.
Personal care is real support, and it shifts the money to the other parent
This is the principle I most want new mothers to hear, because it is so often missed.
Under Polish law, the hands-on care of a baby is itself a way of meeting the support duty. The parent who feeds, changes, soothes and carries the child day and night is already contributing enormously. So the financial burden tips toward the other parent. That is exactly why, even though the father here was a farmer with modest means, the court ordered more than he offered: because the mother's care is her contribution, his has to be mostly money.
And on his means: the court didn't simply accept his declared "2,600–2,700 in hand." It assessed his earning capacity, the reality of a farmer's variable income, EU subsidies, running two farms, rather than a convenient number. (It also rejected the mother's unproven claim of paying her parents 500 a month, a reminder that every claim about money moving needs evidence, transfers, witnesses, not just words.)
What this means when one parent lives abroad
The principles are the same; a few things deserve extra care across borders:
- Honesty about real costs wins. An inflated list of a baby's needs is no more persuasive in a cross-border case than a domestic one, and harder to defend.
- Care counts, wherever it's given. If you're the parent doing the day-and-night work, that is recognised as real contribution; the financial share leans to the other parent.
- Declared vs capacity. A parent abroad with variable or self-employed income will be judged on what they could earn, not a tidy figure on paper.
- One-off vs ongoing. Big initial purchases are handled separately, keep the receipts; don't fold them into the monthly rate on either side.
Which country decides, and how a foreign or self-employed income is proven, depends on your situation under EU rules, best mapped early.
A steady word to end on
If you're a new mother facing this alone, please hear this: the exhausting, invisible work you're doing right now is recognised by the law as a real contribution, and an honest, modest claim will be taken far more seriously than an inflated one. And if you're the father, anxious about a number: courts build it from what a baby genuinely needs, not from the longest list someone can write.
Bring me the real picture, what the baby truly needs, what each of you can truly give, in English or in Polish. We'll find a figure that's fair to your child and survivable for you both.
This article explains principles from a recent (2026) Polish court ruling, anonymised in the public case database. It is general information, not legal advice, and every case turns on its own facts. For advice on your situation, please contact the firm.