There are two parents I meet again and again in my consulting room, and they are usually on opposite ends of the same case.
One lives far away, often abroad, and asks, quietly: "Will the court punish me for the distance?" The other has the children every day and every night and asks, just as quietly: "Does anyone see what I actually do?"
Polish courts have answered both questions, and more bluntly than most people expect. Let me show you, using real rulings.
The short version: under Polish law a parent supports a child in two currencies, money and personal care (art. 135 § 2 of the Family Code). They are communicating vessels. Stop showing up, and your share in money goes up. Genuinely share the care and the costs, and your share in money goes down. Gifts, meanwhile, are neither, they count for the bond, not for the bill.
The rule nobody explains: parenting has two currencies
Poland has no child support tables. A court weighs the justified needs of the child against the earning capacity of both parents, and then something many foreign parents have never heard of: it treats day-and-night care, school runs, sick days and homework as a real, valuable way of fulfilling the support duty, not as a favour one parent does for the other.
That single principle drives everything below.
The absence surcharge
In a February 2026 case from Mrągowo, a father, a professional soldier, had had no contact with his two children for over two years. When the mother asked the court to raise his payments, the court said something worth reading twice: because the entire burden of personal care rested on her, including nursing the children through illness at the cost of her own work, the father's share had to shift towards money. His previous, lower payment had been set at a time when he declared broad contact with the children; abandoning that contact was itself a change of circumstances justifying an increase.
The same ruling quietly dismantled three arguments I hear every week:
- "I have loans to repay." Loans you took on voluntarily, while earning steadily, do not reduce what your child receives. Ever.
- "My base salary is only X." The court counted his full military package, allowances, bonuses, even a holiday gratuity, because what matters is earning capacity, not the payslip you choose to show.
- "Her new partner is wealthy." The father proved, from the company register, that the mother's new partner ran two companies. It changed nothing, because he could not prove she actually lived off that money. Suspicion is not evidence.
The presence discount
Now the mirror image, decided, remarkably, by the same court district in the same month.
Two parents, both firefighters, with almost identical incomes. The mother wanted 1,800 złoty a month; the father offered 1,000. The court awarded 1,300, and explained exactly why it landed in the middle: beyond his payments, the father paid half of everything extra (sports camps, ski trips, equipment, First Communion, the orthodontist), took his daughter two weekends a month, and did all the driving himself.
The court treated that involvement, the money and the time and the kilometres, as part of his support duty already being performed. So the cash award came down.
If you are the hands-on parent reading this: the same logic protects you. Document your care, and the court will price it in on your side of the scales.
What doesn't count: presents
A warning, from a criminal courtroom this time. A father in Warsaw stopped paying court-ordered support but kept buying his daughter gifts, clothes and school trips. Prosecuted for non-payment (yes, persistent non-payment of support is a crime in Poland), he argued the presents proved he cared.
The appellate court's answer was surgical. The presents did not replace a single złoty of support, worse, they proved he had money he chose not to pay. But the genuine, maintained bond with his daughter did matter in a different way: instead of a conviction, the court conditionally discontinued the case, on three years' probation and an obligation to pay support on time.
That is the Polish approach in one case: the bill is the bill, and the bond is the bond. One cannot buy out the other, but both are seen.
When you live abroad
If you take one thing from this article, let it be a 2025 appellate ruling from Poznań. A father lived abroad and had no regular contact with his seriously ill child. The court did not split the child's costs half-and-half, it put 64% on the father and 36% on the mother, precisely because she carried all the daily care alone and he contributed nothing but money.
Distance itself is not the sin, Polish courts say so repeatedly, and organised, real contact protects both your relationship and your legal position. But distance plus silence is expensive: when you offer no care, care is converted into cash, and the exchange rate is not in your favour.
So, practically:
- Pay by bank transfer, with a clear title ("child support, May"). Cash and presents are invisible or worse.
- Keep the extras on record. Half the orthodontist, half the school camp, paid traceably. In Szczytno that is what moved the number.
- Keep contact real and documented, calls, visits, travel receipts. It shields you on support and on parental authority.
- If you are the caring parent: since the last ruling, has the other parent quietly withdrawn from the contact the court assumed? That withdrawal alone is a lawful basis to ask for more.
A steady word to end on
Courts here do not reward the parent who loves more loudly. They reward the parent who shows up, in person where possible, in money where necessary, on record always. If you are far away, that is a strategy you can start this month, not a verdict against you. And if you are the one carrying everything, Polish law has a name and a price for what you do every day, and I will make sure the court sees it.
Bring me the real numbers and the real history, in English or in Polish, and we will build your case on them.
Sources, the original rulings (anonymised, in Polish, State Judgment Repository SAOS)
- III RC 64/25, District Court in Mrągowo, 6 Feb 2026, no contact for 2+ years raises the money share; loans and hidden pay components rejected. saos.org.pl/judgments/541525
- III RC 232/25, District Court in Szczytno, 17 Feb 2026, comparable incomes; father's half of extras, weekend care and driving lower the award. saos.org.pl/judgments/541995
- VI Ka 955/25, Regional Court Warszawa-Praga, 19 Dec 2025, gifts do not replace support and prove ability to pay; maintained bond earns probation, not conviction. saos.org.pl/judgments/540194
- II Ca 521/24, Regional Court in Poznań, 6 May 2025, parent abroad without regular contact bears 64% of the child's costs. saos.org.pl/judgments/531802
- III RC 265/25, District Court in Szczytno, 17 Feb 2026, earning capacity, not declared income; voluntary debts do not shield the payer. saos.org.pl/judgments/542942
This article explains principles from published Polish court rulings, anonymised in the public case database. It is general information, not legal advice, and every case turns on its own facts. For advice on your situation, please contact the firm, consultations in English and Polish.